so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
