Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I need to sanitize my soul.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
