it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
