drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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