she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
even my farts smell like vagina
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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