I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
