You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
