They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
