we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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