I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize