My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
