i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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