lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize