Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
