she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
