Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
