Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
