Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think I sprained my soul last night
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
