Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
