I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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