just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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