Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
