escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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