It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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