If that was your dad, he is hot
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You're a waste of cheezeits
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
