He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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