Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
