I cannot find my penis.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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