Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
