I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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