I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Me too!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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