I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
