At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He kissed a someone with a penis
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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