I just made out with a guy for $7.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
