the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Randomize
