i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
