His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize