I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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