im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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