Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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