Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
