Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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