Cold hands, warm shart.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize