his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
