you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
