we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
