I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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