none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize