You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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