This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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