There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
