A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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