we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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