My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
