im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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