i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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