i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize