I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
