I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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