Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
