Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
